Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Dan Gerous' LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
9:58 pm	I actually remembered the password I'm back, bitches! Actually, it's more like "back" where the word is defined as: {turned 25, graduated (finally), got engaged (this time I remembered to call "no takebacks"), drove an overlaoded 16' Penske truck through 6 states in 13 hours, now live in St. Louis} Sometimes Bertrand Russell was right in describing the world via set theory, this being one of those times. There, I just used my new degree. Was it awesome for you all? It surely was for me... Yeah, so what is everyone up to? Me, I've been looking for a job. I find this process boring, so I usually end up just downloading music. Or making dinner. Or staring at the wall. Or seeing just how many nickels I can put in my nostrils (8 in each). Turns out that the demand for philosophers is alarmingly low. So today I filled out an application to Costco. Tomorrow, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. Friday I'm going to East St. Louis to sell the crack that I'm cooking up as we speak. Hey, ya can't knock the hustle... It's hard to make a philosophy degree really seem like it means something. English majors can coast off the assumption that they are someday going to write that novel, bringing that desire to do something "meaningful" fianlly to fruition. What do philosophy majors get? We get to settle issues like how many angels can fit on the head of a pin. Interesting aside... when I try to solve this problem I attack the concept "pin" in order to make it include the sum total of the material and metaphysical world. Then I try to go off on some tangent about whether archangels should be excluded on surface grammar issues. At this point, the other person's eyes are getting glazed over, so I know I have to bring out the big guns. That's when I smash him in the crotch with a brick and steal his wallet. Sometimes I will grope his girlfriend for added effect. My point? I read and write too, but I have to think about all kinds of pointless shit. Where's my parade? So the job thing...Yeah, I really need to turn some pure bullshit into gold. However, my cover letters are still sounding pretty stiff. I just need some big time luck in order to get an interview. Once I get in the door I can be a charm ninja, dispensing charm with deadly efficiency and leaving under the cover of darkness. The new Rogue Wave album sounds pretty good, also. PS - Melissa is doing well, if not a stressed version thereof. Holla at the girl amazinggrace. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: Buidling Steam with a Grain of Salt - DJ Shadow (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
12:55 am	What a tableau! So, it's been a while since I've had anything to say here. Let me start off with one of the more surreal nights in recent memory. There is little to no decent Chinese food to be found in Pittsburgh, save for the Sesame Inn. However, they run on the expensive side and aren't easy to get to. So I am in a constant search for passable cheap Chinese food. I am convinced it does no exist and it only took sampling the most fucked up versions of General Tso's chicken ever. I never thought that I would ever consider a dish to be too ketchup-y, but it's happened. Tonight was the latest installment of my quest. I ended up at the $9 buffet that Bamboo Garden offers daily. It should be noted that this place is in a strip mall in North Versailles, a depressed former steel town right outside of Pittsburgh. It should also be noted that Versailles is not pronounced like its namesake palace, but rather straight up Ver-sales. One could argue that this is one of those instances of the British intentional butchering of French done out of spite (listen to that Naked Chef ass say "filet" as fill-et). One would be wrong if they used that argument. People here are just stupid. Anyway, the food sucked - I mean it was $9, what did I really expect? But the scene inside the restaraunt was worse than the food. Too many pairs of strech pants stretched to capacity topped off with bad perms/fe-mullets. Oh, and I totally spied a lesbian deer hunter. I put 2 and 2 together when said butchy woman in three types of camo started talking loudly about shooting deer with whomever was on the other end of her cell. That was at least interesting. What I did after I left the restaraunt was really what changed my life. Across from this strip mall was a Wal-Mart Super Center. I needed to walk around to recover from my gorging and I had never really been to Wal-Mart before, so I drove over. Holy shit! That place is a nightmare. I've never felt so out of place in my life. The garish lighting, the copious amounts of NASCAR memoribilia, the horrible and loud music - I felt like I was in a different country. But their prices on cereal were really good. So I bought a talking Dale Jr. doll, a shotgun, and ten boxes of Honey Bunches of Oats. And that's how I became a Republican tonight. Oh, check out my newest project. Direct your e-zone programmes towards here and reap in the comedy harvest. I write every second Friday. Feel free to comment here about my genius - my fragile ego needs to be fed. Current Mood: weird Current Music: Hot Snakes - Hi-Lites (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 28th, 2004
10:37 pm	I have a rant to get to after these informalities Well, school starts Monday and I have basically no classes chosen. Add to the fact that I waited until Summer Session was over to apply to get aid to pay for it, resulting in one major-league hold on my student account, and I'm a bit screwed. Hopefully, I can reason with them so that they waive the hold and thusly allow me to add classes. Then I just need to find classes to add to my schedule. Philosophy still sucks. Speaking of sucking, Soul Seek has been anemic of late. However, that did not prevent me from going buck nutty on the new albums. The new Interpol sounds like a major-key redux of the first one, not bad in all. The new Elliott Smith seems to be wonderful, as I am listening to it now. However, the real gem of my latest haul - the new Ted Leo. Ted rocks it hard - I'm guessing he's been listening to a good deal of the Thin Lizzie when he was working on that one. Seriously, it just really makes me want to be in a band. A rockin' band. One where the energy just pours out of the music and makes you want to change your life for the better. I'd give just about anything to put a good two hours in on my kit. I don't have time right now to explain the two newest signs of the Apocalypse, but one of them is ponchos. Motherfucking ponchos. Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Elliott Smith - Last Hour (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
3:54 pm	I'm now 24 And I also have a job. I've done my best to find a job in the vein of the cool post-Slow Kids that others have gotten. Justin has the Wizard and his comic, Deuce plays video games and does cool TV stuff, Wolf runs the IMAX, and now I lift and carry stuff. Yep, I work on the loading dock of a trucking company loading and unloading freight Monday - Friday 4:30 pm - 9ish. Last night was my first night and I even got to move over 1000lbs of asphalt mix with a pallette jack with just the sheer force of my body! Meh. At least it pays roughly double Starbucks. Hopefully I won't get nailed by a forklift. What else is going on in my life? Well, I finally got my monitor back from the fine folks at ViewSonic, so now I can make up for lost time on SoulSeek. I had a birthday. My aunt and uncle had their house spared in Port Charlotte, FL, but my Uncle Joe's dental practice was completely destroyed. Julia Child died, which totally bummed me out. I need a haircut. My Dad and brother's dog now likes me. That is all. God, I am lame. Time to go and move heavy shit around. Current Mood: pre-ill (I'm fighting a cold and winning) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
5:15 pm	The post where I superficially understand all of psychology and philosophy of self So yesterday I was driving around, killing time until Melissa finished having dinner with my mom, when a thought just hit me. I was thinking about the part in Pensees (now that I think about it, this may be from Fear and Trembling) where Pascal says we're all whirling dervishes, blissfully unaware that we are in imminent danger of falling off the edge of the precipice. And that this whole setup is just part of the system of necessary lies we tell ourselves in order to live. Now you may be asking yourself, "Has Andy finally lost it? Why is he thinking about French existential philosophers/mathematicians whilst on the Parkway?" But I do have a point, and here it be. Basically, the only certain thing in life is that one day it will cease; it is just part of the agreement. We could spend all of our energy thinking about this solitary natural fact, but that would likely bum us out to the point where we'd be all depressed and never want to do anything except wait for the inevitable end, because nothing else really matters. So we come up with systems of beliefs to navigate the world, artificial facts if you will. They are artificial in the sense that they are created, they are artifice, and not that they are necessarily false. So basically we create the whole of our value systems. This creation is never completely from scratch, as the bulwark of history greatly influences us. That explains things like mores and cultural value systems &c. So then we basically bide our time until we have to face the one true inescapable truth of life. What the hell does all that mean? Well, I ceased to be that whirling dervish. I was too aware of that inescapable truth and it did totally bum me out. But when I totally immersed myself in worthwhile artifice (e.g. Slowkids), I wasn't full of existential dread and depression. So it follows then that my overall state of being is completely dependent upon my choices. Do I want to sit around all day, twirling my meat and getting fat? Sure, if I want to me miserable. So I go out and do stuff. Apply for jobs. Sell off drum gear that has been sitting unused for years. Work at being a good boyfriend. I get it now. I really understand behavioral psychology and the philosophical impetus behind it. The best part is that I actually believe it. Plus I'm totally geeked that I just used philosophy in a practical way. PS - I am also working on this thing so it's less reportorial and full of navel gazes. I want to be more amusing. Current Mood: excited (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, July 16th, 2004
7:10 pm	Dear World, Suck my dick! This one goes out to the latent homosexual with the shaved arms from the Cheesecake Factory. No, I wouldn't want to have you put me in a situation where I'd be in over my head. I can see how you would conclude that I could not hack it as a busboy because I don't have over a year of doing such advanced things as putting dirty dishes into a tray and wiping off tables. Such highly specialized knowledge could never come anything besides food service work. How dare I think that I could comprehend the intricacies of drink refills without formal on the job training? I'm sorry to have wasted everyone's precious time. Seriously, fuck them. Applying at the Cheesecake Factory did not go well. I have more applications to turn in to the various chains that comprise the Waterfront. At least one of them should deign to hire me. I mean it's such a gamble, as I have never been to a restaurant nor have ever been known to learn quickly. Whatever. At least these other places don't get my hopes up with interviews that go nowhere - either I seem promising and warrant a call or they don't bother to ever contact me. I'm in a really pissy mood. I'm really fed up with this whole process. It's either I do it, get a job, and get on with my life or don't a get all depressed again. I think I can finally say that I understand most of my motivations and the consequences that accompany them. That is why I'm seriously thinking about quitting therapy. What more can I really gain from talking about my problems for much longer. I get it - I don't like my family, so I try to deal with them as infrequently as possible; I hate my major, but I have to suck it up and finish school; I can keep on going through the job process to eventually be rewarded with a job and source of income, or I can freeload and be miserable. I'm really tired of talking about the same shit over and over again. Part of me wonders if it isn't really just holding me back... I wish I had a drumkit set up here. I would have gone to my Dad's to play, but I'm sure that would have made the dog go nuts, which in turn would have garnered great ire towards me. It's good to know where their priorities lie. I have to do something creative very soon. I am seriously going to write a stand-up set this weekend. Mr. Smooth Arms and his condescending dismissal of me has really pissed me off. But rather than wallow and be depressed, I'm going to actually do something about it. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: the grinding of my own teeth (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
2:51 pm	Happy Bastille Day, you cheese eating surender monkeys! Yeah, it turns out that I've decided to actually grow up and get a job. I'm sure I'll start to fly right at any moment. I've actually been filling out and handing in applications to join the service and/or retail industries. Who wouldn't like to have their delicious chain meal brought to them by me? Probably Jehovah's Witnesses, but that's mainly due to them being fairly wary of others in general, because I could bring a birthday party along with their meal and totally ruin their day. Or give them a transfusion. Anywho, it's time to grow up. I've sold just about all of my crappy cds, unused textbooks, and am attempting to unload some drums in order to get money. Net effect - still broke. Plus, I'll be 24 in less than a month. I think I need to admit that the game's up and I'm the only one in charge of my life. And I want to get the hell out of this shitty, shitty city. I'll need some do-re-mi to do that. In other news, I still hate my major. I am really digging this political theory class, though. Maybe I should have done poli sci. Meh, too late now. I've practically moved in with Melissa, as my awesomely huge monitor on my computer ceased to work (although it is still under warranty, which amazes me because I bought it refurbed) and rendered me free of a way to view the internet at my place. Oh, that and we're getting along very, very well. We really are so good together and it's great to feel like we're on the same page once again. It had been a long time. Well, I should refresh my memory of Leviathan for class tonight. For some reason, I feel quite compelled by Hobbes. Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
1:26 pm	Hot meat in a pouch OK, I must confess that I've been loving that stupid Ugof Burger King ad since its inception. That brings sunshine to my day every time I see it. That, and the whole series of identity theft ads for Citi, especially the one with the Asian lady being voiced over by the perv, Larry. Pure genius! As for the rest of my life (in the most selfsh sense of it), there is not as much sunshine. Sure, things between Melissa and I are going swimmingly, and that itself is wonderful. But, oh the restlessness I feel! I acn barely tolerate my major anymore. (Oh, I was wrong in my last post. Aristotle, not Heraclitus, was right. Listen to him now, kids. He'll set you straight.) Yes, like a petulant child, I hate school. I thought about quitting again, but that fucks me over more than it should. So I'm stuck - I have to keep going, but I don't see much of a reward at the end. And why don't I see the pot of gold (or at least Sacajawea dollars) at the end of the rainbow? Oh, because I don't know what I want to do with my life. The notion that I get to leave Shittsburgh when I'm done is just too abstract for it to be a major motivator. See, I could handle my lack of interest in my major if I could see it as contributing to a specific larger goal. But that just isn't the case. Should I go into advertising? Should I try to become a teacher? Should I find Jesus and become really annoying? Whatever. Fucking whatever. I've come up with a treatment for a movie. It was going to be a book of sorts, but I'm better with creating literal images rather than the figurative ones. I want it to be shot nearly completely in the first person perspective. Who knows, it's probably dumb but I think I'll keep on trying to do it. I think I've played the quitter card enough in the last few years. I think I may also try this improv thing on Friday at Pitt. If not this week then next. I need to feed me ego on some level. School is just not cutting it any more. Time to read some Plato. God, now that's an asshole! Current Mood: moody Current Music: The Candy Butchers - Painkillers (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 7th, 2004
9:31 pm	Heraclitus was right Why can't we all just agree that everything is relative? True, it would render most of my major obsolete, but what's wrong with that? You see, it's time for my requisite disdain for my major. What the hell was I thinking when I decided to get a degree in philosophy? What a goddamn waste! I've finally put my finger on what exactly it is about philosophy that bothers me - I don't have a strong view on most of it. It's pretty ironic when I really think about it, as one of the major reasons I went into philosophy was to find some sort of veiw point that I could agree with. It's hard to get into the minutiae of something that you don't care for except in the most superficial way. I'm going to need a serious push to finish my degree. Things are going well for the most part, but I feel restless on some level. My apartment is a fucking mess, I still lack a job, and I have a new need to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. Hopefully I can get an apointment with the career services folks at Pitt. Maybe they can help with the life direction thing. I have been having a bunch of drumming-related dreams lately. Maybe I should just actually attempt to make a go of a music career. Whatever. Speaking of music, I saw Wilco last night with Melissa - a good show made better by the fact it was free. They played most of the new album, which is very Neil Young-ish. There is something a little disconcerting about early middle aged men trying to to coax feedback sounds out of their instruments. Jeff Tweedy looked kinda haggard - Melissa said he was working the Richard Lewis fresh from detox vibe and she was spot on. Meh. They sounded great and it only made me want to do something musical that much more. I could have gone to Beulah tonight, but I passed for financial and homework reasons. I need to get back to my readings, but as mentioned above, I'm not really feeling the philo right now. I'll polly end up watching the rest of the Flames/Lightning game - hopefully the Flames pull it out. Wait, I'll find the info for the career center. Score. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Playgirl - Ladytron (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
3:10 pm	And thus begins June... OK, I should be finishing this truly lame paper for Ancient Philosophy right now, but I'm not in the mood to explain Plato right this second. Instead, I do this while at a school computer lab. (The weird, exhibitionist aspect of updating in a public area like this should be discussed further in a later post). So what's new in my life? Well, thanks for asking. Saturday, I went to see Margret Cho at the Improv with Melissa and Jen. The Improv itself was a strange place, very much the corporate version of what a comedy club should be. Like that should be any sort of surprise since it sits in the retail equivalent of a planned city - The Waterfront. Anywho, Ms. Cho has apparently lost a load of weight and looks years younger. She was fairly scattered as well in terms of her banter. Has someone found the nose candy? It's a possibility... Regardless of her new "look", I thought that her set was too politcal, sorely lacking tidbits of her crazy-as-fuck life. There was only one impression of her mother. Things are going really well between Melissa and me. We were both loaded by 4:30 yesterday afternoon, thanks to Ann's little BBQ. Nothing says "Thanks Vets" like eating nearly a whole bag of guacamole Doritos while drunk off of Dead Guy/Sierra Nevada/Woodchuck and releasing the most heinous farts for the rest of the night. God bless America! Well, this paper ain't gonna write itself. Speaking of writing, I have started to do that again, albeit not in sketch form. Maybe I'll have something resembling a manuscript by the end of summer. At the very least I want to attempt an open mike stand up night before I turn 24. I'll let people know when/where people should show up with their rotten produce. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 27th, 2004
10:11 pm	It rained in Seattle... how trite Yeah, this has been a strange week for me thanks to the red-eye I took home from Seattle on Sunday night/Monday morning. I still haveonly the vaguest recollection of what day it actually is. I'm being told it's Thursday by the fact that I just got home from another long school day. Why the fuck did I pick philosophy again? Such a mental wankfest... So Seattle... I had a great time. I spent Friday night and Saturday morning/early afternoon walking around the city. My butt is that much perkier for it, as Seattle has a fine collection of hills. Made some new friends at the Guitar Center as well during my respite from the rain, and got to play some cool drums to boot. When it was the nuptual hour, I met up with Stretch's former roommate Meghan (whose last name escapes me) and Canadian friend Sunita, whom I had met once years before when the Slow Kids were naming Deuce and Oz. The night got off to an auspicious start when Meghan suggested that we have a drink before the wedding at the Best Western's bar, as she didn't do well with heights. (Aside: Jayme and Ryan were to be married in the top floors of the tallest building in Seattle, 75 floors above Washington.) That was the first of many, many drinks for me. The wedding and reception were absolutely beautiful and loads of fun were had by all. The night then moved to some club (yes, I went to a club - I truly hope it to be my last). Deuce received a nice drunk dial from me while we waited to enter. Eventually I made it back to my lovely room in the Holiday Inn Express in the shadow of the Space Needle via a cab commanded by a friendly Sikh man blaring Sikh techno. I spent the goodly portion of the nest day at Sea-Tac airoprt waiting for my late-ass flight, fighting a hangover the whole time. I'm sure things were not helped by my earlier decision to seek out Indian lunch buffet, only to have to settle for barbeque when the Indian restaraunt was found to be closed. If you ever find yourself looking for decent barbeque in the immediate vicinity of Key Arena, there is a decent place on 1st Ave, although the name has been forgotten. All in all, shit's going well. Although it becomes more and more painfully clear that Pittsburgh is way too parochial/incestuous. The same 50 peopkle show up and intermingle at the same 6 places. This city, if you can even deign yourself to call it such, is lamer than a horse with four broken legs. Is there any way to turn a whole city into glue? Current Mood: irritated Current Music: Woke from Dreaming - The Delgados (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 20th, 2004
12:50 am	Could've been the Willie Nelson, could've been the wine I've been in a reflective mood of late for reasons too many to individually list. Today was in that same vein, especially because it was my brother's arraignment/hearing about his felony drug possession charge. (I don't know the exact legal details, but basically he went before the district magistrate in order to determine if his case was to procede to trial - they decided to wait 90 days to see how his "treatment" is going.) It seemed to be the biggest fucking joke. I am so sick of him acting like this is some isolated desease that is reducible to its strict physiology. Chemical dependence has just as large a psychological part as it does a bio-chemical one. The highlight of the whole thing was where the cop who was on the scene when my bro OD'ed said it was the closest he's ever seen someone come to dying without actually doing so. I wish he'd just get on with it - it would be better to have a dead brother than this fucking self-absorbed joke. My Dad can join him as well for feeding into this behavior. That was so fucking angsty it just got me signed to Saddle Creek. My split EP with Conor will be out shortly after my birthday. We each do an original and then a cover of the other dude, a la the Home series. My songs are "I Have a Family, Technically" and "Winona, It Scared Me When You Went as Dave Pirner Last Halloween." ConOb is going in a bit of a different direction with his "Crunked Out on Shiraz" (it has a Lil' Jon vibe), but his cover of "The Captain Never Steered Me Wrong" is very faithful to my original. I'm really not this angry. Things are going really well in general. I'm pumped about going to Seattle this weekend for Jayme and Ryan's wedding. Summer school is keeping me busy, but it is interesting. I've decided to write a standup act, as well as possible colabos with Justin (Congrats on a full year of weddedness to you and Brooke). And things have been really great between Melissa and me lately. I missed how well we got along in just about every area, and things are getting nearer to those levels. She is and has always been my best friend, only now it really feels that way again. Plus, I was able to show her how deliciously awesome Anchor Porter is on micro night at the Squirell Cage ($2.75/bottle is a good price for those tasty little bastards). OK, I'm done stealing the new PJ Harvey for Melissa to tide her over until it is released, so I need to read some Scalia before sleep comes. One day I'll write something interesting, I promise. You have my word as a gentleman. PS - Bonus points to anyone who knows what song I lifted the post title from. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Cish Cash - Basement Jaxx (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 8th, 2004
12:02 am	I think I found a new hobby Well, that's not entirely true. I came up with a great title for my memoirs of the first quarter of my life. Who wouldn't buy a book called "A Swift Kick in the Nuts"? I think I would buy 2 copies just because it's so wonderful. But then again, I am an idiot. I really want to be creative again. I have to do something - write sketches, jokes, plays, songs, something/anything. I've felt my abilities leak out of me over the past year plus. I used to be able to call way more punchlines on shows like Conan than I do now. I tried it the other night and got nothing. It's sad - Jay Leno sad. I miss my former writing pals. I miss the act of creating. Maybe I'll start The Act of Creation again - although very academic at times, that book was fairly insightful towards the whole creative process. I want a new rut. One that is actually enjoyable. I mean, as entertaining as doing absolutely nothing with my life is, I want more. I think I'll be getting my guitar from my Dad's basement and actually try to learn to play it. Maybe I'll borrow Melissa's latest copy of Bust which has a mini article on the guitar. Better yet, maybe I'll actually become the student I've always wanted to be this summer. I love being a know-it-all whom all my classmates despised. At least I HAD to learn things to stay on the top of the heap. I want to be the Jay-Z of college. Current Mood: full of (lame) Chinese (Comment on this)
Monday, May 3rd, 2004
1:13 pm	One week until more school! You want to know what is more fun than it should be? Well, I'm telling you regardless. Insomnia! On paper, staying up until roughly 4:30 for no apparent reason seems like a bad idea, especially when you fail to wake up in time to take your car to its scheduled maintenance appointment. But that's why the game isn't played on paper, as the cliche goes. Now that my sleep/wake cycle is a tad fucked, the rest of the week will be great. Fuck this, I need more caffeine. So Spring semester is over. My plan is to become closer to that "textbook" student this summer. You know, do my homework, show up for tests, actually learn new information that is more than trivia - such a novel approach, I know! Maybe I'll actually graduate before my AARP membership kicks in. I feel really stagnant right now. I should be showered and out & about by 1 PM on a weekday, but I am neither. I need to get a job that has actual hours that will pay me actual dollars. I have my financial aid stuff to finish. I need a haircut. I ave to get a ticket to Seattle for Jayme's wedding. My apartment could use a good cleaning. Instead I waste time on Soul Seek and other music related sites. I feel the urge to be creative again and I should ride that out. I saw the Singing Detective last night with Melissa and had my mind blown. Add to the 1st season of Chappelle's Show that I watched Saturday night, I have the inspiration to do something other than simply draw breath. However, inertia seems to have other ideas. All right then, kids. I'm pissed enough to do stuff now. At least this thing is good at stirring up the vitriol necessary for results. God bless you, vanity! Current Mood: cranky Current Music: Student Loan Stereo - Wilco (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
10:44 pm	Oh Finals... Why does 24 have to be new while I should be working? There is just no way to avoid that show. And it's on again on Tuesday night. Damn, Kiefer, that don't sound too good for my grades. I just have to make it until Thursday. Logic final tomorrow afternoon could be decent or horrendous, depending on what I have to recall. Jazz is at least done. One more paper for Political Philosophy on Marx, which I haven't read at all. Oh, and I think I have another class. Maybe I should find out about that... Why does the weather have to be so nice, too? Sure, all of that sun and blue sky action makes my apartment heat up like some sort of bed-filled oven, but it's just so damn nice. At least I figured out how to get my window AC up and running. It does a good job keeping me cool at the computer, but I have doubts about it cooling this whole place. Meh. I should be studying. Correction: I should be doing some laundry, as it seems I lack any clean underwear. Motherfucker. Well, now I have something to distract me from studying that is a little more legitimate. Current Mood: cranky Current Music: The hum of AC (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 15th, 2004
6:50 pm	Another week, a different opiate Yeah, so my little bro OD'ed yet again on Easter. This time it was on the methadone, which is slightly less bad than real heroin, I guess. Whatever. The novelty of a better understanding of the characters in Trainspotting has worn thin. There is just a little too much denial and nonchalance surrounding him for him to ever get better. I wish I could force him into an inpatient program, but he's the only one who can honestly make that choice. I'll be surprised if he sees his 21st bithday. In other less-depressing news, finals are a comin' and it is too early. April is the month reserved for those hail mary study sessions where I undo months of scholarly neglect. Why does Pitt not understand this? Granted, the month is half over, but come on. Meh. I just need to make it to next weekend, and then I'll be all set for a few weeks. Then summer school starts. God, I just want to be done here. This was one of the lamest posts ever, but I needed to get my fingers going for the work that I have to do tonight. Sorry to subject you all to this incredible banality. I'll be cool again sometime soon, early May at the latest. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: "White Girl" - Soul Coughing (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 8th, 2004
12:53 am	Sleep? Meh. I really should be asleep right now, but I'm not. Hey, it's far more important to make sure that the Neko Case EP I'm attempting to download makes it safely onto my computer. A girl's gotta have some priorities in life... Whatever. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it here? Well, I do. If Germany ever wants to call "fair ups" on the US for that whole Dresden thing, I volunteer Pittsburgh to bear the brunt of those well-engineered, emotionless German firebombs. It's sad to think this place was the cat's pyjammas less than 100 years ago. I guess we just need some robber barrons. I want to be doing something creative right now. I miss writing the comedy. I miss playing my drums. However, I don't want to venture over to the ole homestead to get in a good hour. I really should sell my massive kit and do soemthing productive with the funds. Although, there are these sweet drums coming out of Brazil that seem to be reasonably priced... Or I could always use some more cymbals, because having two cases jammed with them is definitely not enough. I just want to change a goodly portion of my life right now. Maybe I'll start with a haircut. I need one of those badly. I think it may be time to say adios to the sideburns and hola to a handlebar moustache, or at the very least, a fu manchu. Then I can get a career. Or maybe win the lottery - that has always been a goal of mine. Meh. Oh, I still don't fucking get Modest Mouse. They really seem like an unfunny hipster joke perpetuated by some major-league assholes. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
1:19 am	Oh honey, it's ridiculous First of all, naps at 7 PM until 9-ish aren't that condusive to sleep. Good to know that now... So yeah. Shit has gone down, as the kids say these days. I had a drunken (and eventually hung-over) visit to the Deck last Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. What is the Deck, you ask? Well, it would be the emergency room of the psych hospital. I'm OK, really. I swear. I've actually been really happy for the last couple of months. I just made a series of bad choices, and it was in my best interest to comply with those who wanted to help. I can't thank amazinggrace enough. She truly is a saint, the best friend I haev ever had. And I know I am rather difficult to be friends with over time... But this next one tops that big time. I get a phone call late Friday afternoon. There was something bothered about her voice, so I demanded that she just spit it out. Turns out that Junkie Boy had OD'ed that afternoon on a handfull of Clonopin and three bags of IV heroin in the arm. The paramedics were able to revive him and he was being discharged from the hospital. That was supposed to be his first day working in his old kitchen again. Now, who knows what is going to happen? He needs some serious fucking inpatient rehab, but it seems like that isn't going to happen. I'm so tired of this. I mean, I knew my family had its share of disfunctionality, but these last couple of years have really taken the motherfucking cake. All of this ceased to be funny a long time ago. It isn't funny when it seems rather likely that someone is going to end up dead in the near future, especially when that person is your little brother, a former really good friend. My new story upon being asked about my family by anyone new: My parents were killed by a mugger when I was 8. I was then raised by our English butler, Alfred. My name? Bruce Wayne. At least then I'd have a good reason to trick out my '99 Olds Cutlass. I've been listening to a bunch of new stuff lately. Everyone needs to check out Sufjan Stevens right now. Get either Greetings from Michigan or the new Seven Swans. Excellent stuff. Also worth finding are The Thermals' More Parts per Million. That is some serious lo-fi pop mastery. These things help right now. Sorry to bum everyone out. I just needed to get this shit off my chest. Current Mood: weird Current Music: Thom Yorke - I Might Be Wrong (live at Bridge School benefit) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
10:24 pm	Blah blah blah This is my second attempt to write something in here. I spent 5 minutes just staring at the screen on the first attempt. I just am completely inarticulate at the moment. I should be filling out my FAFSA, but I'm not. I should start a draft of the Rousseau mini paper due Thursday, but I'm not. I'm tired. My sleep as not been very good lately. Actually, the sleeping part is OK thanks to the fantabulous bed I got when I moved. It just takes me until all hours of the night to actually get tired enough to fall asleep. Fuck. I need a swift kick in the ass. This semester is nearly over and it would be hella bullshit to throw it away now. I wish I had some motivation for something academic, or even career related. Instead I just download more music off of SoulSeek. I'm really just very frustrated these days. I've been lacking passion for some time, which makes me want to do something I'm passionate about. That would explain my recent want to go to Berklee and become an engineer/producer. It turns out that I've picked up a thing or two about music in the last couple years. But then I think that it's just an impractical and vain dream. I could never really make a decent living doing that. I liked it better when I didn't consider my passions as worthwhile career options. This was just me venting and being stupid. I just want to get on with the rest of my fucking life. I'm tired of being a fucking undergrad. I'm sick of this fucking city. I think I'm just moving to Canada and going on the dole. At least I'd have healthcare. Current Mood: pissy Current Music: Johnny Cash - The Beast in Me (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 27th, 2004
1:15 pm	Hi, I'm bored and should be working If I were a [feminine] gay man... by 38886 Your name Your Gay Man Name Richie Your Gay Man Occupation Canadian Priest Your Stereotypical Gay Man Trait Tight pants Your Gay Man Music of Choice Boy George/Culture Club Your Gay Man Cause of Death Angry Ex-Lover Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0! (Comment on this)